if you don't know, now you know...

havent written for a few days, so just a little check in.

1st, my dog's little lipstick weiner popped out for the first time today and it TOTALLY freaked me out. i can only imagine that this means he is not far off from humping inanimate objects, which i am totally not prepared to handle at this time. i didnt think this would start happening yet. the worst part is that we cant get him fixed for another two months... so im guessing that for the next two months, Linus' slimy little pink friend will be making random appearances at innappropriate times. also, weighed him tonight and he is a wopping 15.5 pounds. he isnt even 4 months yet. the dog that i got thinking was a beagle, and therefore would be relatively small, is going to be somewhere between 40 and 50 pounds as an adult. and he dug a gigantic whole in the bathroom wall that i dont know how to fix. awesome. i will spare you all the details of the morning poop-in-the-bath incident. currently, he is having one of his "puppy time" moments, aka spazz out time. this is where, out of nowhere, he starts bolting through the house, back and forth, at top speed, for no apparent reason at all. i love it when he does this because A) i think its hilarious and B) it means he will sleep well tonight. regardless of anything he does though, i love that little fucker.

2nd, i think i am going to write a book.

3rd, i've had a low-grade fever for the last 8 days. it feels crappy. i just get all hot and flushed, which then makes me cold and i have to pile on the jackets. i'm hoping this will go away soon. i've been drinking plenty of non-alcoholic, non-caffinated beverages and have getting plenty of sleep, so i'm hoping its just some weird thing that will end soon. i cannot even imagine what menopause must be like. i am so. tired.

4th, pretty much everything i own smells like dog pee. so attractive, i know. how i will ever get a date smelling like dog urine is beyond me. fuck dating anyways, i guess... i dont even think my boyfriend would want to date me smelling like dog pee.

5th, i've dropped approximately 13 pounds over the last week and a half, or so. mainly this is due to the fact that i never know what i want to eat, and rather than just picking something because i'm hungry, i pass. if nothing sounds good, i would much rather eat nothing than eat something i never really wanted in the first place. on this note, however, i must say that my "go-to" food is macaroni and cheese. if i am absolutely starving and i can't decide on anything, mac and cheese will usually do the trick. but i only get the kind i can microwave because i only like cooking for other people. its boring to cook for myself. i already know what a great cook i am, so there is no reason to impress myself. i find cooking a fabulous meal for someone to be one of the best gifts you can give. lately, the mac and cheese from walgreens has been somewhat disappointing. the price went up and it seems like there is an awful lot less cheese. will someone please cook me dinner? thanks.