decisions, decisions... hmmmmm.....

for those of you who don't know, i am typically a terrible decision maker. i get very wishy-washy when faced with either/or situations. so i get these shoes or those? do i get this phone or save a few bucks and get this one? which bathing suit do i like better? and so on and so forth. for those of you who do know about my poor decision making abilities and have been through the debate with me about this or that, you know how difficult that can be. when i finally DO make a decision and stick with it, i tend to get applause.

now imagine that if i have trouble making little decisions, how difficult you think it would be to make BIG decisions... what's funny, is that the bigger the dilemma, the more real, or more consequential, the easier it is for me to make a decision. today i made a big, life altering decision. sure, i was back and forth on this issue for about 3 days, but this morning i woke up after a good nights sleep (amazing what those can do for you, by the way...) and knew what i had to do. without question, i knew what was right. this is amazing. it feels good. and really, when you make the right decision, you know. my choice involved making a commitment, and the alternative choice- giving up, quitting, letting him down, just didnt feel right. it made me cry to think about it. it made me sad. it made my stomach churn. nothing about a negative, physiological reaction says, "yes, do this. this is the right thing to do." had i decided to give up just because this was something that would be challenging, it is something i would regret for probably ever. i almost did before and am so glad i didnt. the pros outweigh the cons indefinately. giving up would, in all honesty, be letting myself down. sure, by making this decision i am making a choice to sacrifice some things; i am going to go through some tough times but in the long run, it will be worth it. because after the difficulties subside, or get less difficult, what i will be left with is a best friend and companion, unconditional love and forgiveness, and a reason to smile every day. i made a promise, a commitment to do this and i am keeping my word. no one said it was going to be easy, and it isnt, but sometimes the things that are most important are the things that challenge us, and force us to change for the better.