48 hours

a lot can happen in just 48 hours. or not a whole lot, depending on how you look at it. i have made it two days. today is my third. and its hard not to look ahead and feel like the next 27 will be daunting, but when i start to think like that, i remind myself what someone told me, and that is all i have to do is get through today. all i have to do is take care of myself today. it is 11 am now, so all i have to do is make it through the next 13 hours. and when you look at it like that, 13 hours is a whole lot more manageable than 27 days. thats it. just 13 hours. i can do that. there are times where my gut guts turned into knots and i feel overwhelmed, but i just try to remember that that feeling passes too, and it will be ok. not everything is easy, and thats ok.

i woke up thinking, ok, today will be alright. i will take the dog to the park, write in my journal, do some blogging, keep my commitment to myself, and go to work. by the time i am done with work, my day is over. then i will go to sleep and not think about tomorrow until that comes.

i went out to dinner last night, like, really out to dinner. to a nice restaurant with prices that made my eyes bulge. and i enjoyed it. i enjoyed getting dressed up and going out and having a good meal. i've only been to this restaurant one other time, a long time ago, with my ex-boyfriend and his grandparents. and i remember feeling really uncomfortable with them spending that kind of money on me, so all i had was french onion soup and shared a caeser salad with his grandma. its funny the things you remember. this time, i had a spinach salad, snap peas, macaroni and cheese, filet mignon, and a trio of desserts. it was delightful.

ok, gotta run. things to do. ciao.