kick me while i'm down. please.

just as i start feeling pretty good about myself, god decides to throw me for another loop. testing me? i dunno. whatever it is, it sucks. i read this great thing that said "for every finger you point, remember three are pointing back at you." so, that being said, i've had about a million insults and judgements of character thrown my direction over the last week or so that bruised my sense of self pretty badly and made me feel pretty crappy about myself. i mean, i guess i'm dealing with them far better than i would have in the past in that instead of getting defensive or hurtful or saying fuck it and sitting around being depressed, i've decided to take these things with a grain of salt, but take them nonetheless and look at them. add them to my inventory. maybe if people feel this way about me, it is worth a real honest look at what these people have to say and take a real honest look at myself. i mean, yeah, someone tells you something shitty it sucks. maybe i did sit around for a day or two having a pity-party. these things definately made me question myself. for a minute, i felt like saying fuck it to all the work i've been doing because if i'm that shitty of a person then why the fuck bother. i guess the point is, if any of you have something to say about me, nows the time. i'm receptive to whatever you have to say, and i am willing to add this to my list of defects and look at them and address them and figure out what to do to change them to be a better person. sometimes i can't see something about myself that others can, so i'm asking for help. i need it.